On Saturday, I had my ballet debut as a cuckoo bird.

That’s me on the far left. It was a lot of fun preparing for the show— there was such group camaraderie through the extra practices, dress rehearsals, and backstage prep. My conversational French has improved so much! (I’m the only native English speaker in the beginner class).

This is a crayon portrait by Sonya. It’s Mom As A Ballerina. My tutu is magnificent.

As proud as I am of being in the show, there’s really no comparison to how I felt watching Sonya in her debut ballet performance as a pink unicorn.

She is perfection head to toe. When she came onstage, I was spellbound. She looked so grown-up!

Recently I started reading Apollo’s Angels: A History of Ballet by Jennifer Homans. It’s lyrical and well-written but dense, so I imagine it’ll take me a while to finish, but I’m savoring passages of poetic beauty:

On the Great Chain of Being, ranking all living things from the lowliest vegetative and material creatures up to the angels who occupied the highest rungs near God, man was consigned to the middle rungs: suspended perilously between beasts and angels, his highest spiritual aspirations were forever constrained by his earthly ties and gross bodily functions.

But if he danced, so the men of the Academy believed, man might break some of these earthly ties and raise himself up, closer to the angels. The movements of the body, disciplined with poetic rhythm and meter and brought into accord with musical and mathematical principles, could tune him to celestial harmonies.

I have a soft spot for photo-related novelty gifts. [Like last Christmas, I made each of the girls a personalized board book].

So when I came across a website called image3d offering custom viewfinders, I knew I’d have to order one! When I was a kid, I had a blue viewfinder with Disney princess reels. I absolutely loved lying on my bed and clicking through my collection of image reels over and over and over again. My favorite was Sleeping Beauty. Aurora’s hair just looked so magical.

I thought a viewfinder would evoke childhood memories for Derek, too. So I curated photos for an Adventure Buddy custom image reel from some of our pre-family world travels. Starting at Stonehenge and ending at a waterfall in Puerto Rico for our honeymoon.

I thought the girls would be captivated by the viewfinder the same way I was when I was a little girl. So I also made a “sister reel” with photos of them doing various things, like face painting, making salsa, and having iPad time.

The viewfinder is magical! It transports me back in time. There’s something so visceral about pulling down that black lever and pressing the bridge of my nose against the plastic trying to get a better look.

When Sonya was a baby, Drex and I made a mistake. We let her drink milk before bed. I felt so so guilty, because she got a visible cavity on one of her front teeth! Last week, she had it fixed with a white composite filling. To avoid multiple dental visits with anesthetic drugs, standard Canadian “preventative” dental practice is to put stainless steel crowns on all the baby molars. So when Sonya smiles wide, you see a glint of silver. Sonya calls them her “robot teeth.”

They are awesome. And it’s a relief to see how proud Sonya is of them. I was a bit anxious on how she would perceive the change in her smile— or what other people might think.

Kids are the best. The day after her epic visit to the dentist, Sonya went to daycare, sat down on the floor, tilted her head back, and opened wide, showing off her robot teeth. Her friends gathered around, oohed and aahed, and made her feel special.

Grown-ups are a bit more awkward. But overall, Sonya’s enthusiasm and explanation win them over. “My teeth have armor! Sugar bugs can’t get them!”

What’s awesome is that Sonya came up with these metaphors on her own. Robot teeth. Teeth with armor.

They’re a part of Sonya’s smile for the next little while, and a couple years from now the tooth fairy (I’m sure) will pay double (maybe triple) for every robot tooth left under the pillow. And the next set of teeth that sprout from those gums— well, we’ll be taking better care of those.

I am so grateful and moved by the trust that Sonya gave us— it’s no easy thing, to go to the dentist and to come out with eight robot teeth. She is really incredible. And I admire her strength, courage, humor, and resilience. And of course, her gorgeous smile.

[with my cousin Anurita at the Canadian Museum of Civilization]

Just finished reading and watching the movie adaptation of the perks of being a wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. I enjoyed the vivid characters. By the end of the book, I knew them well. The narrator, Charlie, loves reading books. One of the “extra books” his honors English teacher gives him is Ayn Rand’s Fountainhead. After reading it, Charlie realizes:

I think the idea is that every person has to live for his or her own life and then make the choice to share it with other people. Maybe that is what makes people “participate.” I’m not really certain.

I hope I’m doing a good job living my own life— it’s hard to know because my life blurs with three other lives. But I’m trying to participate to the fullest… in my own individual life and in each of my adjacent lives.

This is Sonya, Leena, and “Mom pushing the Bob” (far right) to the playground on a sunny day. I asked Sonya about the yellow circle next to the sun. “That’s Daddy— us thinking about Daddy.”

While Daddy was at his Princeton conference, I indulged the girls a bit more than usual. Summer has arrived in Montreal. And it’s impossible to stay indoors! The city was calling to us! The restaurants were calling to us! This is Sonya listening to headphones and doing lots of fun stuff including eating ice cream, watching the iPad, and going to the playground with Leena (who is the little magenta circle holding her own ice cream).

By the time we hit Candle Time, there were so many fun things we did. Sitting around our little circle this past week, I reflected on all the subtle transitions. Sonya’s artwork is moving from abstract to symbolic representations of the world around her. Like her art, her communication has transitioned from expressing her needs to expressing her ideas. It’s amazing!

And Leena? Leaps and bounds! She can speak in two to three-word sentences now. “Wing eye!” (“Swing high!” she tells me at the playground). “No, not Mommy! Eeeen!” (“No, not Mommy! Leena is going to do it all by herself!” she tells me when getting ready in the morning, going down the staircase, or combing her hair). Her legs are losing their adorable chub and becoming long, lean, strong toddler legs. Big people legs that can “UN!” (“RUN!” over the low grassy hill to the playground).

Today turned out to be an awesome day for a bike ride. The morning had scattered showers, but around “go time” the clouds had parted, so we decided to chance it. Sonya had quickly eaten her breakfast, got dressed, and put on her race bib while I was still rummaging around in the closet for my bike shorts and jersey. When I saw her, I knew, rain or shine, we’d have to ride. I fiddled with the bike trailer for about ten minutes before phoning my friend Johan who came and had the girls hitched up in less than thirty seconds. Thank goodness for good friends and good neighbors!

By the time we turned the corner, we were being pelted with rain. I had to lower the plastic shield, but in fifteen seconds, there was a large puddle at the girls’ feet and their pants were wet. But Sonya said, “This is really an adventure!” Which was just one of about a thousand and one touching things that happened today.

Had a valuable French lesson. “Droit” means “go right” but “tout droit” means “go straight.” I got confused at the split between the 25K and the 50K bike ride. When I saw the sign below I silently cursed in English.

But there was nothing I could really do about it except ride on. And you know, for all fifty kilometers of the bike race (and the eight slow kilometers home), the girls were FABULOUS in their double trailer. They said hello to the riders that passed us, pointed out interesting things along the road, shared snacks, and cheered me on. We’d pass crowds of people chanting “Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé!” like we were at the World Cup, and pretty soon the girls were singing that, too. Sonya would shout “You’re doing great, Mom!” and “I think you can go faster! Go faster!”

The second time I passed Notre Dame Cathedral in the Old Port, it was an I-Am-Woman-Hear-Me-Roar moment as I thought to myself, “Wow! I’m actually really doing this! All by myself! Me! Pulling my daughters in a trailer all around the city!”

The last four K? I couldn’t believe the sign had come so fast. I thought to myself, “Well that wasn’t so hard!”

I basically rode into the Olympic Stadium on Cloud TEN. As we crossed the finish line to cheering and cowbells, I could hear Sonya and Leena shouting “Hooray!” I could tell that they were just as excited as me.

As a way to remember today’s epic ride (and as an excuse to take a short break after a strenuous hill when my quads were burning), I handed total strangers my iPhone and asked them to take a picture of us. And they did. That’s why I have so many awesome pictures from today. Thank you total strangers!

The Olympic Park was jam-packed with tents with sponsor merchandise. We immediately scored blue yogurt-covered raisins and chocolate milk. It was no easy feat navigating bike + trailer through the disorderly throng of bikes and cyclists, but we eventually made our way to an area of bouncy castles. That just cemented the awesomeness of the day for the girls. They got to bounce. I stretched out in the grass by the one bouncy castle exit and the fatigue caught up with me. And it dawned on me that I would actually have to bike home.

We went on the ferris wheel― Leena insisted, and to her credit, she patiently waited in a long line for half an hour, determined to have a turn.

And then I biked home. The route was mostly uphill. Which was painful. And I had my front and back gears set at their lowest. When I turned off Sherbrooke and made my way onto Avenue Rachel and caught sight of “our mountain with the cross on it”— I felt pretty emotional. Because I knew at that moment that I would make it home. That I was nearly done. Even though it was still quite a ways away.

A day of many good things. But the best by far came as I stepped out of a relaxing warm shower and Sonya showed me a crayon drawing she’d done.

I’d been on the verge of tears throughout the day, and that was the last drop before the dam overflowed. I feel so grateful for my girls. We bonded through the rain, through the stop at a Port-A-Potty (all three of us crammed into a stall), through the unexpected double-distance detour. They were champions for sitting in that trailer for almost THREE hours without any fussing or arguments. They kept me pedaling for sure. And they brought a smile to other riders with their friendliness. “Hewwo!” Leena would say. “Saluuuuuut!” Sonya would say.

I came away from today’s ride feeling fired up to stay fit and active so that we can keep having these adventures as we all get older. I was also reminded how much I enjoy cycling and look forward to a “family cycling vacation” someday.

Just finished reading a fantastic book: The Fault in Our Stars by John Green— “the story of Hazel Lancaster and Augustus Waters, two Indianapolis teenagers who meet at a Cancer Kid Support Group.” There are so many quotable moments in the book, but I was particularly moved by a touching/nerdy observation:

There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There’s .1 and .12 and .112 and an infinite collection of others. Of course, there is a bigger infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or between 0 and a million. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities… I want more numbers than I’m likely to get… But… I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I’m grateful.

The girls’ pink plastic camera was FULL so I transferred the images to my computer. Out of roughly a thousand photos, there were about twenty gems. Including this series of self-portraits in Sonya’s little bathroom mirror. And a few rare portraits of me.

I’m like a BFG (Roald Dahl anyone? Big Friendly Giant!)… but my absolute favorite image for some reason was this:

Taken by Leena of her chubby little foot on the couch in the living room. Now I will always remember that chubby little foot and how much I love it.

Sonya wants a Star Wars themed 4th birthday party. Earlier this spring, when I was buying yarn for next winter’s hat, Sonya saw a bolt of black-and-white Star Wars fabric, which she hugged to her chest, and asked me to buy some to make into “pajamas or a dress or something special.” When Grandmama was visiting, I handed off the yard of fabric to her (SO glad I did! because just look at the results!) Literally in a day, Grandmama made Sonya the dress of her dreams. Sonya loves it. She’s a Jedi princess! And of course, there’s no “saving it until July.” Yeah right. But before this fabulous dress got worn to the playground, I decided to take a few pictures in our neighbor’s garden. The irises were in bloom.

My incredible Jedi princesses. Beautiful inside and out. Fierce and gentle. Independent and cooperative. Fancy and adventurous.

There’s a rim of dirt along the lace of their hems. But you know, I wouldn’t have my darlings any other way.

Earlier this week, we bought a new bike for Sonya. To make it seem like more of a “princess bike”, we got handlebar streamers in “unicorn colors” to match her snazzy new helmet.

When we arrived at the bike shop, I had not imagined leaving with a bike of this size, and the guy at the bike shop was surprised by how BIG Sonya was for her age. She was comfortable on a bike with 16-inch wheels that allowed for full leg extension on the pedals. This white bike, quickly named Alice (“Alice the bike has _____ gears, so go Alice go, bum bum bum”) was basically the only bike of its size in the shop which could have training wheels put on.

When I see Sonya ride, I can’t explain the feeling I get. How can that be my Sonya? Just look at her riding! She’s so BIG! Is that my strong, confident daughter pedaling ahead by herself? Why yes it is! Does she need me to run along beside her? I better run along beside her just in case. Wow. She can really ride. Wow. When did this happen? When? [Blink] [blink] [blink].

She’s ridden all the way to the grocery store and back. To the playground and back. Up and down the street. Only one major fall so far. And she just shrugged off the scrapes, got back on, and kept going…